my dream in high school was cornell. i loved cornell. i loved the library and the campus and the history. i dreamt of cornell. i saw myself at cornell. i wanted cornell. but in the end, i went to byu-idaho instead, not because it had a great library or a killer campus or the kind of academic history that cornell has, but because it was similar in size and it was something nobody in my family had ever done..and it cost about a tenth as much as cornell.
in retrospect, i wish i had understood myself better in high school. i loved byu-i. i loved the area and the people and the classes. but i didn't get what i wanted from college. i haven't felt like i had to work since my first semester. i didn't have homework, i rarely studied, and i didn't stretch my brain. instead, i made clouds out of cotton balls and did handwriting tests and bit nilla wafers to illustrate the phases of the moon. (i get that part of that was my major, which is why i've also changed my major.)
that's part of why i chose to transfer to byu: i want to work. i want to study and i want to learn something and i want to push myself. breaking off my engagement changed me. it made me realize what i want and who i want to be. some people are lucky. it's right for them to find the love of their life at age 19 and get married and start a family. but i'm lucky, too. because right now, i have the world at my fingertips. i can do whatever i want.
and i want byu to be my gateway to the world. i want to go to cornell to get my mba. i want to put on a robe and get my master's and be as educated as i can. so i'm going to. i'm going to be part of that tradition of academia.
and i can hardly wait.
I have started to write this comment 3 times. I felt this same way about education in high school, but there was something about Rexburg and BYUI that kept me here. I don't know what it was. Then I got married and my whole attitude changed. I hope you enjoy Provo and find what you are looking for.
ReplyDeletePS - I should have totally been in your classes. I never got to partially eat nilla wafers to make clouds! I am jealous!
Sorry that was probably way more than you wanted to know. I felt like I needed to say something after reading it.
Sorry...I guess I should have waited a fourth time to write. I should have worded it better. Then I got married and something in me changed. I am still trying to figure it out. It is a very new feeling. I don't know. Sorry I am rambling again.
ReplyDeleteI miss our office days. Random thought, buts that def not new. lol.
Ah Cornell, I have a friend going to grad school there. Sounds really nice.
ReplyDeleteGood luck at BYU! It's not for everyone but I enjoyed some of the time I spent there. It's a great school.
Sorry for being a creeper and randomly posting :)
Awww you sound like such an amazing girl!! And I believe that you will have all those things that you hope for. :)
ReplyDeleteYou go girl! I just adore you and we have never even met. You are great! The world won't know whats hit when you graduate with all that knowledge and stuff.
ReplyDelete