this is going to be one of those posts that is nothing and everything all at once.

it's been an interesting week, a week with a lot of changes and a lot of emotions. i think i expected our new apartment to change my life, and although i really love it, i'm still just the same amy, with the same challenges and the same weaknesses. that's been embarrassingly surprising. i've been feeling like i'm being pulled a lot of different directions, and i've had a hard time not stretching myself too thin. it's led to a lot of frustration and anger and impatience and unhappiness.

brianna moved into her dorm this week, so mom spent the night at my apartment on wednesday. we talked for three hours and it was exactly what i needed. moms are the absolute greatest, and they only get better when they stop being just a mom and start also being a friend. i think my mother is most incredible woman and i am so grateful that she's mine.

last night before chelschels came over, i pulled out my paints and brushes and my new easel and i set to work to the soundtrack of my painting music. my painting music depends on why i'm painting, but last night's was perfect. poison's every rose has its thorns, elton john's your song, journey's don't stop believing, pixie's here comes your man. perfection. with my brushes in a mason jar and my phone turned off, i felt happy. i felt right.

and i painted this, which i really like.

i think painting is the most wonderful thing, and i'm really excited for this semester's art & drawing class. it's going to be a challenge, because drawing is not my strong point, tracing is. but i'm looking forward to the challenge.

i wish i had something profound to end this post with, but i don't. i'm just okay. :)

wear your passion

so rebecca posted this on her blog today.. and i am in love with it.

because it's right. life is simple.

i've spent the last six days rereading the jessica darling series by megan mccafferty. i read them in high school a couple times, and i needed a few hundred pages of deep fluff books.

(those terms might seem contradictory, but they aren't. straight up fluff books focus on what people are wearing, who's kissing who, and what to do with the limitless credit cards everybody's fathers have funded practically since birth.

deep fluff books focus on self-actualization through relationships and life. i'm a sucker for either type of book, not gonna lie. but this week i needed some depth.)

anyhow, these books make me just want to write and write and write, which means the pages of my journal fill up twice as fast (and considering i average a journal every three or four months, that's saying a lot).

(i'll be the first to admit the titles are a little (okay, a lot) tacky. but the books are sooo good. read them.)

which makes it important that i get serious about my search for my next journal.

this is what i want: a hardbound red book without lines and with thick watercolor pages. does anybody know where the freak i can find one?!!? because i am about at my wit's end, having looked at every book and craft store i can think of.

i couldn't be happier

i've been feeling creative lately.

i love feeling creative. where my hands just want to make something and my brain won't stop thinking about all the things i could do and every sentence i make in my head comes out a little more poetic.

so today i made a craft. saturday is a good day for a craft, and considering how very little i did yesterday, i needed something to do. all in all, i made this with only two trips to the store and $38 dollars. it needs a little touch-up but for now, i really love it.

on monday i'm going to the store, and i'm going to start an art journal. i'm excited about it. (look here or here if you don't know what an art journal is.) i have a whole list of ideas and i can't wait to get started.

and i found this quote. i am freaking in love with it.

"I live now and only now,

and I will do

what I want to do this moment

and not what I decided

was best for me yesterday."

~Hugh Prather

i want.

first and foremost i'd like to give a shout out to tanner. we all know this blog is all that keeps him going.

just kidding.

but seriously.

second, i would like to discuss a list of things that i would like to accomplish by the time i turn twenty-five. ready? let's go.

1. work at an orphanage in a south american country for three or more months. like paige. i'm supposed to be there with paige right now. and i wish i was. paige has an armful of bracelets made by ecuadorian orphans. and i'm jealous of it. luckily i have almost six years before i'm twenty-five, so i'll make it happen.

2. play this song on the piano. i think it is the most beautiful song in the world.

3. read everything hemingway has ever written. i love hemingway. i'm going through another phase.

4. buy a puggle and name it benjamin.

5. own a real live camera and take legit cool pictures. which will probably require taking a photography class.

6. pet a lion. preferably on an african safari.

7. run a half marathon. (there is no way i will ever in my entire life run a full marathon. period. so love me anyhow.)

that's all i've got right now. i'm sure some more stuff will come up. i'll keep you posted.

lately.

lately i've been thinking a lot about life. all aspects of life, really. who i am, what i want to be, what i like about this world, how my relationships with my family and friends really are. and i realized that there is so much more that i want from life than to go to school, go to work, hang out with people, and go to bed. i want to be passionate, creative, proactive, adventurous, optimistic. i want to truly live each day.

as part of that, i want to jump on the project 365 bandwagon. a picture a day for a year. i'm not much of a photographer. but i'm going to give it a shot anyhow. (give it a shot. get it? ha. ha. ha.) we'll start with a month and see how it goes.

so here's day one. old town mankato. :) i didn't feel this way until i left, but i love my town. i really, really do.

rancho mirage

so i went to palm springs with my family last weekend.

i definitely wasn't complaining about the 95 degree weather.

we stayed at the coolest resort.

the best part was some guy in knee-high argyle socks at 11:30 saturday night.

he decided the pond by the golf course would be a great place to go fishing.

umm.. hello?

i'm thinking not.

it wouldn't have been a family vacation without a family picture, of course.

so that was fun.

also dad turned i-don't-really-know-how-old

on 10/10/10!

cool, huh?

we went for a little hike, mostly through the desert.

but also through a palm tree forest.

it was awesome.

very swiss family robison-esque.

and the last wonderful part of my weekend?

finding my next craft :)

i'm going to make a heart like this, with skeleton keys inside.

i am so, so excited.

isn't it adorable?!?!