routine.

Last night Jas and I started our new routine. He's moved home to Lehi for the semester, which means a lot of careful planning to synch our schedules so we could maybe hang out every once in a while. Basically this is how it goes: Monday/Wednesdays, dinner from 7-8. Tuesday/Thursdays, less than one hour in the afternoon. Fridays, fun. Saturday mornings, homework. Saturday nights, fun. Sundays, relax.

Last night I made chicken and Jason did the dishes and I liked it. The chicken was dry but the mushrooms were delish (yes, Mom, I bought and made mushrooms of my own free will. Weird, huh??), and I'll learn. Then he went home and I did my homework for three hours. I have a new roommate who definitely is going to think I am a friendless loser. Which I like to think that I am not, actually, a friendless loser, but ya know. I want to get all my weekend homework done during the week so I don't have much to do on the weekends. Wedding planning and all that. (!!!!) So wish. me. luck.

school and cars, my life

i like school. i like going to class and i like taking notes and i like going to the library and i like learning new things. i like acing tests and i like getting papers back with a fat A at the top. and that doesn't make me a freak, it just means i like to learn. i like the feeling at the end of the semester when you look at a syllabus you could hardly understand at the beginning of the semester and suddenly know what everything means.

my car broke again. i say again because it's happened before. please enjoy this list of car breakages/problems in the last two years: a) months after i purchase my rav4, the transmission blew. b) one month after that i got a flat tire. c) five months after that the engine blew. as i was not about to spend seven grand to fix my car, i bought the corolla i drove in high school from my parents. d) three months after that, another flat tire. d) two months after that, the front bumper broke. e) and now, the car wouldn't start. we were worried it was the alternator. but bestfraaaand came over and fixed my car right up and now it has a new fresh battery and life is good. or at least it will be after i gas up.

other enjoyable parts of the last week have been The Spot at rock canyon, seeing david harrison smith in the parking lot, scott's razzmataz smoothie skills, art class last night, zupas at work (always a joy), heart to hearts with bee, accounting class (uhhh what?), finding out that people in america (minus minnesota) don't say "couple-three", and looking younger than the freshmen every single time i walk to bri's dorm.

different trips, different trains

there's something about academic tradition that makes me want more. i felt it on the university of virginia campus last month and i felt it again today at my brother-in-law's commencement. in virginia, it felt like education was a way of life, not just the means to a career. today, it felt like education was the gateway to the rest of the world.

my dream in high school was cornell. i loved cornell. i loved the library and the campus and the history. i dreamt of cornell. i saw myself at cornell. i wanted cornell. but in the end, i went to byu-idaho instead, not because it had a great library or a killer campus or the kind of academic history that cornell has, but because it was similar in size and it was something nobody in my family had ever done..and it cost about a tenth as much as cornell.

love

in retrospect, i wish i had understood myself better in high school. i loved byu-i. i loved the area and the people and the classes. but i didn't get what i wanted from college. i haven't felt like i had to work since my first semester. i didn't have homework, i rarely studied, and i didn't stretch my brain. instead, i made clouds out of cotton balls and did handwriting tests and bit nilla wafers to illustrate the phases of the moon. (i get that part of that was my major, which is why i've also changed my major.)

that's part of why i chose to transfer to byu: i want to work. i want to study and i want to learn something and i want to push myself. breaking off my engagement changed me. it made me realize what i want and who i want to be. some people are lucky. it's right for them to find the love of their life at age 19 and get married and start a family. but i'm lucky, too. because right now, i have the world at my fingertips. i can do whatever i want.

and i want byu to be my gateway to the world. i want to go to cornell to get my mba. i want to put on a robe and get my master's and be as educated as i can. so i'm going to. i'm going to be part of that tradition of academia.

and i can hardly wait.