that one time i went rock climbing

what's cool is how good i am at rock climbing.
uhhhh just kidding.
but really.

zach and scott brought me rock climbing.
we climbed this bad boy.



juuuuust kidding again.

this is what happened: i got my harness on. i put the rope through the thing. i started climbing. i got stuck. i didn't know where to go. i started freaking out. so scott jumps on the wall and climbs up and moves my feet where they need to be. i'm feeling good about things. i fall. i scream. zach and scott think i'm a girl. i am a girl. scott's still just chillin' on the wall without a rope. the same wall where i just barely freaked out about falling to my death. guess i wasn't really up that high after all.

i don't think i'm meant to be a rock climber.
or a repeller. that's freaking terrifying.

i like rock climbing.

(also, for the record, costa vida is the love of my life on account of the fact that it is all gluten free. yyyyuuuummmmmmmmmyyy.)

this is going to be one of those posts that is nothing and everything all at once.

it's been an interesting week, a week with a lot of changes and a lot of emotions. i think i expected our new apartment to change my life, and although i really love it, i'm still just the same amy, with the same challenges and the same weaknesses. that's been embarrassingly surprising. i've been feeling like i'm being pulled a lot of different directions, and i've had a hard time not stretching myself too thin. it's led to a lot of frustration and anger and impatience and unhappiness.

brianna moved into her dorm this week, so mom spent the night at my apartment on wednesday. we talked for three hours and it was exactly what i needed. moms are the absolute greatest, and they only get better when they stop being just a mom and start also being a friend. i think my mother is most incredible woman and i am so grateful that she's mine.

last night before chelschels came over, i pulled out my paints and brushes and my new easel and i set to work to the soundtrack of my painting music. my painting music depends on why i'm painting, but last night's was perfect. poison's every rose has its thorns, elton john's your song, journey's don't stop believing, pixie's here comes your man. perfection. with my brushes in a mason jar and my phone turned off, i felt happy. i felt right.

and i painted this, which i really like.

i think painting is the most wonderful thing, and i'm really excited for this semester's art & drawing class. it's going to be a challenge, because drawing is not my strong point, tracing is. but i'm looking forward to the challenge.

i wish i had something profound to end this post with, but i don't. i'm just okay. :)

this is what i like to do:

i like to walk michael's aunt's dog. she lives at his grandma's house. and her name is dakota. the dog, i mean, not his aunt. dakota's the best because she literally freaks out whenever i walk in the door. mostly it's because she loves going for walks and i'm her official walker. but it's precious. she starts hyperventilating and wiggling all over and it is wonderful.

of course the most wonderful part is just walking and thinking and calming down and being outside. i love walking dakota.

brianna does not love dakota. that's because one day, michael and aubrey and shawn and reed and i went for a hike.

and we brought dakota some water in a water bottle and a tupperware so she could drink the water. well, she didn't drink all the water. so we poured it back into the water bottle from the tupperware. aka, dakota's spitty dogness was in the water. fast forward a month. bri's in my bedroom. bri's thirsty. bri picks up the water bottle. bri drinks from the water bottle. and now brianna hates dakota. because dakota's germs are in. her. mouth.

gross.

also, i am at this moment watching yesterday's bachelor pad. could kasey please quit singing songs? not cool. "from this moment on, i can carry on, my love for you. i gave you a promise and put it on your finger, and all i know now is that you are my forever." really, kasey? really?

happiness.

i've been having a little bit of a rough week. i've been stressed (about moving out, finals, assignments), i haven't been feeling well (my tummy, as always), i've been grumpy (pms, other factors), and i've just plain been unhappy. sometimes i get like that. sometimes everybody gets like that.

the good thing, though, is that it always ends. growing up, everybody liked me because i was (generally speaking) the cheerful, happy one. (when i say everybody, i mean my family, mostly. because in elementary school, the other kids don't usually care if you're cheerful and happy, cause you're just a kid. plus i was a chunk.) then my teenage years happened, and i became a little bit difficult, and even though i'm not difficult anymore (at least i like to think i'm not), being happy doesn't come quite so easily.

i'm a happy person. i like being happy. but more and more, i find myself feeling frustrated at the other drivers on the road and pissed off when i wake up to loud music at seven in the morning and mad when people aren't doing exactly what i expected them to do and irritated when i'm put on hold.

to counteract that, to remember how to be happy, this week i've tried to slow down. when i walk outside, i stop and feel the sun on my face. i went up to rock canyon on tuesday just to think and calm down and thank my heavenly father for the blessings he has given me. i've tried to put a smile on my face, even when i'm not feeling it. and i've tried to focus on the things i love--journaling, crafts, painting, reading and marking up philosophy books, organizing.

so i'm happy again. last night aubrey and i went to color me mine. we're making cereal bowls, but we didn't quite finish so we get to go back tomorrow. it was perfect. after we went home, we made muddy buddies (which gave us tummy aches.. hooray) and watched 500 days of summer (for the second time in two weeks).

life in our new townhouse is going to be wonderful, eating out of our cereal bowls, next to our blue walls and painting-covered walls. with aubrey. i can't think of anything better.

virginia is for lovers

frankly i have absolutely no idea what that means. and i never have. so that's cool.

once upon a time we went to virginia last week.

and it was magical. even though it was supposed to be warm. and it most definitely was not warm. we're used to it.

anyhow, we did some cool stuff.

like going to williamsburg,

visiting university of virginia,

hiking a mountain,

hiking another mountain (during which bee wore ballet flats through the snow.. don't even ask),

going to monticello,

eating dinner at the boor's head inn,

and having the most wonderful time ever.

mom and dad gave bri the camera at monticello. it was like when parents give a camera to the little kid so they stay interested and involved. and it worked. ha. bri was yelling "photo op!" every ten seconds.

californiaaaaaa

i had the most wonderful week. it included:

going shooting in the desert

clam chowder on the pier

playing on the beach

watching the last lions (LOVE)

eating ice cream sandwiches

rollerblading in newport

not taking pictures

watching limitless (pleaaase go see it)

shooting my first (and last) revolver

almost getting eaten by a bird. and a chipmunk.

s.u.s.h.i.

going puppy shopping

a lot of things i can't remember because i'm tired

aaand more playing on the beach.

it was the most fantastic week.

i also worked on registering for spring classes (accounting, western humanities, need three more credits), had a phone interview for a job at byu (office assistant) got the job (sooo freaking excited about it), read time magazine, finished a biography about a boy with asperger's, and learned a lot about myself and what i want from life.

once in high school, my dad wrote me a note. my parents are good like that. they know when we need things like that.

in this note, my dad said "limitations are self-imposed; dream big. then, keep the dream before you."

i love that. and right now, i really and truly believe that my dad is right. maybe it's just because i've been off-track and haven't been going to school, but i am so excited right now just to learn and to work hard and to do as much as i can before i grow up. i am so excited about what life holds for me and i'm so very excited to do my very best to reach my potential.

ps only three more days in rexburg..

sexy chunk.

that is what i call my baby sister. chunk. it's a long story. she calls me chunk, too. somehow it rolls off the tongue more easily than "bri."

yeah, we don't really get it either.

bri is fantastic. mainly, of course, because she is funny as heck. but also because i frequently walk into her room to find her sitting on her bed doing homework. which is fine...

...but if you're secretive, you can catch her simultaneously checking herself out in the mirror. it's wonderful.

and today we worked out. which, in the winter in minnesota, usually consists of any combination of the following three things: the weight machine, the elliptical, or workout dvds.

with brianna, it usually means workout dvds. she starts by pulling her sweatpants up ridiculously high. (and i mean ridiculously.) then she gets out her weights and starts moving. and, of course, talking back to the workout dvd people. "work it! work it!" they say. "iiiii'm working it!" she says back. "you should feel this one in your hamstrings," they say. "i feeeeel the burn!" she says.

it makes it very, very, very difficult to stay upright and refrain from laughing.

and that, my friends, is why i like my little sister.

"how did YOU end up on bottom?"

i just read a quote.

"life isn't short. it's the longest thing you're ever going to do."

true.

i seriously like that quote. a lot. because life isn't short, but the experiences in it are short. that's why one of my biggest goals this summer is to just live in the moment. too often i've spent my life wishing time wouldn't pass so quickly, or wishing that the days on the calendar would fly past faster. but when it all comes down to it, a minute is sixty seconds, every time. and time will pass whether i want it to or not, so living in the moment is my only logical option.

it's been a pretty good week, all things considered.

i slept with brianna when my cousins were here, and it made me realize that sleepovers never, ever, ever get old. we laughed so hard we fell out of bed, which made dad come running up the stairs to check on my little cousins in the next room..but oops, that was just us falling out of bed :-/ no big deal. we still can't figure out how she ended up underneath me, since by all logic she should have crashed on top of me. so that's the puzzle of the week...

i lost my waterskiing mojo but i'm hoping it'll come back asap.

dad crushed his foot under the boat so that was scary but luckily it's not broken..

we went biking in minneapolis yesterday. what an incredibly beautiful city. there are lakes everywhere you look, even in the middle of the city. looking at sailboats on a pristine lake in front of green, green trees in front of the skyline is like nothing else. i like this state. except it's hot. and humid. so that's a buzzkill.

so hot we'll melt your popsiccccle

i sincerely believe that there is nothing more beautiful than a minnesota lake. we went to lake washington today, which is our usual lake. the water isn't crystal clear and every once in a while there are too many boats per square foot. but the trees are such an incredible, vibrant green, and the sky is blue and the clouds are nothing short of picturesque and i love that lake. no waterskiing, but we read and went tubing (for a very short period of time) and ate rainbow twizzlers (which i think it is safe to say absolutely nobody recommends) and it was a good time even though it was hotter than hades. probably literally.

bee and i went running after the lake. it was a fantastic run. the kind that is effortless. the kind where my legs could just keep going and going. the kind that i breathe in and out and in and out and it's not a chore, it's just breathing. the kind that makes me remember exactly why i run. it was great fun.

today i'm just thankful. is that okay, even if it's not thanksgiving? i'm thankful for brianna. i'm thankful for my mom and dad, who sometimes fall asleep holding hands on the back of the boat. i'm thankful for cristina, who is one of my very best friends. i'm thankful for ann and paige and kylie and abel. i'm thankful for zack, who didn't even say anyways the last time i said anyhow. i'm thankful for mint cow tracks ice cream and hot summer days and new cameras and the book of mormon especially mosiah. i'm thankful for driving with the windows down and tithing and air conditioning and sleeping in my own bed for six weeks. i'm just thankful for everything, for the big things and especially for the little things.

oh

21 is a good movie.

i watched it again tonight.

and i really like it.

and tonight was just great.

dq sprinkle ice cream cones are my favorite.

and so is catching up with people i haven't seen in forever.

missed you :)

and especially fireflies.

they don't have them out west, i don't think.

i really like fireflies.

mucho.

and i like guadalajara with my family.

they're the coolest.

my family, i mean, not the people at guadalajara.

not that they're not cool.

but you know.

and i just can't stop winning at scrabble.

and trevor's going to the phillipines on his mission.

i'm pretty excited for him..

really excited, actually.

today was a good day.