i'm baaaccckkk

it's been beautiful this week and all i've wanted to do is write, but there have been too many thoughts tumbling around in my head. a hundred, a thousand, each one rising to the surface for no more than a brief mention before being washed away by the emergence of another thought.

we've been at the cabin, which is always a perfect week. i decided not to go on a facebook for a week, and it was surprisingly refreshing. there's something wonderful about not automatically scrolling through my pages of apps to find the facebook one, checking it, and then having to decide what to do with myself. it's equally wonderful to spend that wasted facebook time reading (latest book: quirk, hannah holmes), writing, painting, and snuggling with bri on the armchair that she would really rather have to herself.

(i think my father is cool as heck)

i welcomed myself back to the world of facebook by commenting on every single one of paige's profile pictures. so that was a nice surprise for her, i'd like to say.

odds & ends.

a) aubrey and i watched music and lyrics last night. i lovelovelove aubrey jean truman. she is the most hilarious, most fun, sweetest girl in the whole entire world and also she taught me about putting junior mints in the freezer which started me on a junior mint phase, frozen or not. YUM.

b) speaking of phases, i have eaten four tuna sandwiches in the last 36 hours. that translates into a tuna sandwich for dinner, a tuna sandwich for breakfast, a tuna sandwich for lunch, and a tuna sandwich for dinner. I LOVE TUNA SANDWICHES.

c) speaking of watching music and lyrics, i fell asleep during it. because it was two in the morning. so then i went to climb into my bed. where i proceeded to lay awake until 4:00 this morning. neat.

d) paige is my fuhhhhrrraaavvorite. our best days are the days when we take pictures of our lives. so awkward. so wonderful. like this gem, which my darling clementine captured at the tax place today. not really sure where she was. all i know is, the picture of her lap which she sent me was covered in tax papers.

no cell phones, no weapons. good to know.

e) my tummy hurts almost all the time. so i went to the doctor on monday. starting next tuesday, i'm supposed to start a gluten-free trial. i am crossing my fingers so hard that that isn't what's the matter with me.. pleasepleaseplease..

f) yesterday chels and i talked for the first time in three weeks. oh my gosh it was beautiful. i miss that girl every day of my life.

g) my favorite material possession in the entire world currently is my zebra striped blanket.

h) i'm guest posting over here today. on account of that paige's family just moved this week and she is now living at her ex-boyfriend's house and has no internet unless she uses her ex-boyfriend's computer to which she cannot find the charger.

clearly it's just better if she has a week of guest posts.

i) and most excitingly, my family is officially in utah!! this is what my weekend looks like: get off work, go home to pack, drive to salt lake, and then family reunionnnn. wooooo.

one two three four

there are four things i am loving right now.

a) my job. fer real, it's magic.

b) letters from missionaries and packages in the mail.
(don't love when the letter is a double-letter, as in, i haven't written back since approximately february because i suck..buuuut the letter is currently on its way anyhow being forwarded from my house, hooray.)

c) peanutbutterbananachocolatechip sandwiches hello YUM.


d) gmail chat conversations with bee about snuggling, and email conversations with my mother about hp7p2.

oh, and also the fact that i get to go boating tonighhhhht. i'm from minnesota, land of 10,000 lakes. i wasn't made to go this long without getting on a boat.

saturday is a special day..

i think that song is silly.

anyhow.

today was awesome times ten. it consisted of:

1. waking up at eight and hiking the y with aubrey (loooove that girl). there are a few things i would like to say about hiking the y. a) it was freaking steep. b) it was ten times bigger than i imagined it. and c) i liked it quite a lot.

2. h.o.m.e.w.o.r.k.

3. daydreaming about what might happen if i can hopefullypossiblymaybe apply to the isys program THIS JUNE instead of next june and be done with school in two years instead of three, sacrificing my life and sanity in the process.

4. grilling hamburgers with mckenzie and aubrey. i can see why grilling hamburgers is a boy's job. but still. we rocked it.

5. laying by the volleyball courts in the 85 degree sun for four hours with aubrey. these four hours consisted of a lot of talking, a lot of checking boys out, and a lot of apples and peanut butter. (and honey in the pb. who knew?!)

6. meeting some boys who felt like it would be a good idea to play the "five question game." which was so clearly a game created solely to find out whether or not girls have a boyfriend, and then to ask them out. clever of them? i'm going with a big fat no.

7. shoppingggg with cristina.

8. natasha's wedding reception with cristina and dan. i like them a lot. and i'm not even just saying that because cristina reads this. i just legit like them.

9. and then, of course, more aubrey. :)

i like summer. i know it's not summer yet, but when everyone's in swimsuits all day and it's 85 and the sun is out, it's hard not to just feel good about life.

happiness.

driving around virginia for a week meant a lot of time to think. (okay, okay, that's not true. bri and i fell asleep almost immediately every time we got in the car. i felt like a kid that conks out as soon as the car seat is buckled. but still. i've had lots of thinking time lately.) i've thought about a lot of things: life, dreams, relationships, friendships, family, career, learning, school, work, what i like, what i don't like.

and i thought about the times in the past year that i've been most happy. not the long-term, life-is-great kind of happiness that happens every few months when everything clicks just right for a few weeks, but the momentary, this-is-what-life-is-about happiness.

this is what i decided.

1. summer days with paige. also known as jpm. it was exactly how summer is supposed to be. every day after class was done, either i'd go straight to paige's or she'd come straight to my place. we did our homework and made dinner and ate nilla wafers and went for long drives and sang loud and talked about boys and life and dreams. and every day i just thought, "yes. this is it."

(ps my biggest regret in life is that i will never have paige's lips. that is all.)

2. sitting on the sea lion beach at la jolla last march. i could have sat there all week. i had everything i could ever have wanted that day, including an invisible dog named benjamin, and i just couldn't keep my smiles inside. and i freaking love those sea lions.

3. running friday afternoon errands with chelsea. somehow it turned into a bit of a tradition this semester--i pick her up from class, we run random and usually entirely unnecessary errands (e.g. buying craft supplies or hunting rexburg's grocery stores for just the right kind of cheez-its), and then we go home and dispense with our friday night activities. i could never have made it through this semester without that girl, straight up, and even though this semester was a crazy weird time for both of us, friday afternoon errands were just happy.

4. the cabin. i don't know if it's the location ( a gorgeous tree-surrounded lake in wisconsin), the skiing (there are usually at least a couple days during which the water is a perfect ten), or being with my family in a place where friends, school, and jobs just don't seem to matter as much as laying on the dock, but i am almost always blissfully happy at the cabin.

and after making this list of my top four happiest moments in the last year, i realized: there is a really, really good reason that this kind of happiness doesn't happen very often. i'm glad it doesn't. i'm glad that i'm not one hundred percent on every second of every day. because then when these happy moments strike, i can just stand back and think, "yes. this is it."

(also i would like to point out that three out of four of my happiest moments occurred in the sunshine. so if anybody would like to buy me a ticket to the sun, that would be just fine. please and thank you.)

a flower named millie

eleven days until i can start organizing my room

ten days until idaho

six days until red robin

five days until cristina, bee and i leave for our roadtrip

four days until cristina comes

three days until my last sunday here

one day until mall of america

:)

i can't believe summer is already over. but it's not so bad because a) i looove idaho, and b) the next week is full of only fantastic things. most notably, cristina is flying out here so she can drive the corolla back west with brianna and me since i'm buying it from my parents. it's going to be the most wonderful roadtrip probably ever.

cabin last week.. super fun, as always. and i am crazy about my grandma.

i got on a wave runner for the second time since i was fifteen, when i smashed my head into my best friend's and got knocked out. for some reason those things still terrify me! but i didn't hyperventilate and i drove it for a good four minutes so i'm pretty solid now, right?

we played a ton of games.. that's an understatement, even.

the water was incredible a few of the days.

also i saw a mouse. and it was like one foot away from me. i almost had a heart attack. but we didn't see any bears, which was my dream :( except a wooden one at famous daves :(

since we got home i've been in an arts and crafts mood. namely i've painted the basement and made some notebooks. i'm a pretty big fan of them and would really like a hot glue gun all of my own.

also i miss my fish miracle who is in idaho without me.

that is all.

sometimes it's hard to stop smiling

i like summer.

even though it always ends up busier than i think it will. it's weird how i can literally have nothing that i need to get done, but somehow it's usually ten at night and i realize i haven't even gotten halfway through my to-do list.

this week i have:

stained the deck for my father..

..cooked like crazy..

..and had adventures with mom and bri.

i have also spent an inordinate amount of time reading this, which i am ahhhh-ddicted to.

so that's my week.

"say you want the same thing too"

i have a problem with a workout that includes the words "who knew working out our abs could be so much fun?!" chances are good that if you have to tell me how much fun it is, it's not very fun at all. which is often the case while in the middle of a workout.

i like babysitting. mucho.

i had quite the devastating experience today. i've been painting (excuse me. i meant staining) my deck for my father. and i was under the deck putting a tarp down (a tarp which, tragically, was in the wrong spot when i kicked the paint can over fifteen minutes later...) when i realized something. when i was little, my sisters and i loved to try to decipher the red indian hieroglyphics on the rocks underneath the deck. we spent hours pretending we were explorers. but i found out today that they aren't indian hieroglyphics at all. it's just paint that fell from the deck and landed on the rocks. so that was a buzzkill. kind of like finding out santa clause isn't real. only not quiiite as traumatic.

zackery sent me a package today. and it made me miss him even more but that's okay. only three more weeks :)

"i just wait for the 'yahoo!'"

i love positively everything about summer. but most of all i love waterskiing. and we went last night for my first time this summer. it was so worth the wait. the sun was setting and the water was glass and it was incredible. i'm so happy to be home but i am already counting the days til i go back to school (forty-three).

also, i am crazy about my father. he is the funniest, smartest, wisest, most thoughtful man i know. just for the record.

i love being home with bee. she is my best friend in the whole world and i adore her. yesterday we went on another cub foods run, and i am pretty sure there is nothing more fun than going to the grocery store with my little sister. silly, huh?

and today it's my birthday so i think i might like to turn nineteen today :) i woke up to a smiling bri holding a package from a certain boy that just put a smile on my face first thing. and we had homemade cinnamon rolls for breakfast and i'm just ready to have a fantastic day. :)

wake up to color

what a weekend! zack and i went to boise and the engine of my poor rav4 blew! we were thirty miles outside of boise and had to get it towed and it was quite the adventure. but we went to roaring springs saturday night and it was so fun! and then on sunday we rented a 2010 camaro (hey, we had to get back to school somehow!) and drove it home. doesn't get much better than that..

and then yesterday we had to bring the camaro back and zack brought me to the zoo on the way home! i loved it sosososo muchh. zoos are my absolute favorite, but mostly because of the lions. i'm fairly certain that lions are the most beautiful, attractive animals in the whole world. i could just stare at lions for hours. and these lions? exceptionally attractive.

i love it here so, so, so much. i have never in my life been so happy. i love my job. i literally wake up at every morning excited to go to work. i am crazy about my classes. i adore my friends. i'm pretty fond of my boyfriend. i'm wayy excited to go home, but i'm soooo sad to leave this place in the summertime!!

connect the dots

this state is just so beautiful in the summer. i'm in love.

saturday, fireworks. best show i've ever seen. also the first real fireworks show i've seen in several years. i miss watching them from the middle of the lake at our cabin, but hey. it was a pretty good trade-off.

sunday, long aimless drives with paige. and raspberry white chocolate chip cinnamon rolls. zack's pretty good at making them, i guess...

monday, mesa falls. absolutely stunning. and then invictus. still not really sure what that movie's even about.. dumbest movie i've ever seen, probably, except perhaps duplicity. but also homemade strawberry ice cream! nothing beats that..

also, i love nilla wafers.

happiness is the soundtrack of my life. -grey livingston

today has just been the most incredible wonderful fantastic day.

i got an A on my psychology test.

i played with paige for a long time.

i ate toy story 3 mac & cheese.

i went off-roading to a waterfall with zackery.

i watched the sun set from the top of a mountain.

i smiled a lot.

im happy.