D.e.l.i.s.h.

After a loooooong week of work, this weekend started with a very grumpy Amy, which Jason dealt with like a champ (as always). I am seriously the luckiest, he is so good at being patient with me! He picked me up from work Friday afternoon bearing three gluten-free Sweet Tooth Fairy cupcakes. Under normal circumstances, cupcakes would win a husband major brownie points, but yummy gluten-free treats are a rarity and Sweet Tooth Fairy really knows what they're doing, so Jason's points tripled. In fact, they taste exactly like regular cupcakes. Needless to say, I was one happy camper.

This picture's old, from the last time Jas got me gf cupcakes, so it might appear that the focus of the picture is the granola we had just made. Just ignore that. There's cupcakes down there.

And those cupcakes turned the weekend right around and I wore a smile the rest of the time. It was such a fun weekend, between wandering the shops at Riverwoods, driving around fancy neighborhoods, yummy yummy dinners, an awesome workout (I still can't walk straight), boating/skiing/wakeboarding under the only storm cloud of the weekend, family dinner, and, of course, chillin' in our 9000 degree apartment.

Yay for no air conditioning!!!!!

life is beautiful

This morning I woke up to the sound of birds outside my window. Yesterday I ran ten miles and rocked it. Today I get to see my mama. My office is filled with fresh tulips, yellow and red, and the snowy mountains are a breathtaking backdrop to the warmth of this spring day. Finals are in three weeks and then this crazy semester will be over. In less than a month, I'm going home to Minnesota for the weekend, and in forty-three days I'm marrying my sweetheart.

I'd say thing are going pretty well.

My days have been filled this semester, with homework, and studying, and training for my half-marathon, and falling in love with cooking, and working my way down a massive wedding to-do list. I'm ready for a break, and I'm ready for summer, but spring will do for now. :)

love you like a love song, babyy

I'm happy. I am so, so, so happy. Not just today, although I'm fairly happy today (it's Friday, and I slept in 40 minutes, and I had delicious Greek yogurt for breakfast, and I get to go running with Brianna this afternoon, and it's going to be such a fun weekend), but in general. I can't remember a time I've ever felt so completely whole and content. And I'm happy.

Jason and I met in accounting class, which isn't terribly exciting, and is very typical BYU. We studied a few time and hung out a few times and I liked him a little bit, and then one night he came over and we put in a movie but we didn't even press play. We talked and laughed and talked for eight hours. It was one of the best nights of my life. That night, something clicked.

The next day, I went to his family's house for dinner. I couldn't stop smiling as I drove there. I couldn't stop smiling as I walked up the steps. I couldn't stop smiling as I ate my dinner. I felt like such a dork, but I really, really couldn't stop smiling.

And I haven't stopped since. Nothing else matters quite as much as the feeling of absolute rightness that I have because of Jason. I am absolutely, unequivocally positive that Jason is the love of my life, my best friend, The One. He is it.

And I'm happy.

that one time i got engaged

i am so engaged right now. weeeerd.

That was Jason's brilliant idea of how to start this post. Thanks for that one, babe.

When I walked into work on Friday morning, my bosses Stephanie and Holly were rushing out the door to an 8:00 meeting. As they were leaving, Stephanie pointed to my computer. "You have got to press play on that youtube video. It is hilarious, you are going to laugh so hard." Thinking nothing of it, I pressed play without even putting my backpack down.

As the words "Pretty Girl" flashed across the screen, though, I started smiling and didn't stop for the next three minutes and thirty-seven seconds.

And then Jason walked into my office with his arms full of roses. He melted my heart with the sweetest words I have ever heard, and then got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.

AND I SAID YES!!!

Turns out Stephanie and Holly had made up the whole meeting. I had honestly thought Jason was incapable of surprising me. Thursday night I texted Paige and said "Paiger, it's not happening this weekend. I just know." Guess I read that one wrong..

Jas had gotten us both the day off work (surprise!), so we went to Magleby's and ate more sugar in one meal than the average person should eat in a month.

We spent the day just being happy. Surprising my future father-in-law, who hadn't known Jason was proposing that day, was one of the most entertaining experiences of my life. We had such a good day. It was the best day in the whole world.

Friday night we went to Tiburon and ate super fancy food. Deeeeeelish. Perfect ending to a perfect day.

So, I'm engaged. Woohoo!!! May 5 at the Mt. Timpanogos temple, babyyy. It can't come fast enough.

yesterday was one of my best days in a long, long time

and i have no pictures to show for it. right now, anyhow. laura has one, and the other is on my computer, so just a bit of patience, my friends.

my afternoon started with a few bites (okay, okay, half) of a shake at the creamery with jas and his family and his sister annie who i loved meeting. i only wish i could have stayed longer, buuuut...

..it was time to run (ten minutes late, of course) to meet laura, my long-time blog bestie. it was seriously magic. my deepest wish in life is that she didn't live in canada so she could live in utawww with me and we could spill our souls to each other every day. or whatever. you know. i just really, really liked it. and her.

and then i ran some errands and went home (by home, of course, i mean the bed in bri's dorm that i share with my baby sister...) and packed a bit and then relaxed for the first time in an eternity, and watched the season finale of gossip girl (uhhhh... hated it!!).

jason and i have been trying to be in a christmas mood lately, which is harder than it might sound, what with finals and all.

but it seems like we were repaid for our efforts last night when some random guy handed us a completed free-meal cafe rio card for no reason. christmas is the absolute greatest, and i mean that.

for christmas, jason's dad gave me tickets to the play a christmas carol. it was absolutely incredible. i wish i had some pictures of the theatre itself, it was beautiful, but all i have is a picture of us.. which is also beautiful? except it's on my camera. i am not generally a crier, but this play definitely had me crying. i was so touched by scrooge's pain when he realized all the opportunities he had missed to influence the lives of others. i'm hoping that our family will read the forgotten carols this season, which we do many years. it, too, is such a timeless story.

i love plays. i love how real and alive and genuine they are. going to plays is one of my very, very favorite things to do, and it was one of the most well-done plays i have seen in a very long time. it was truly a perfect night, and i was so happy to spend it with jas.

i'm happy today. i'm so, so happy to be going home, and to be done with finals, and to have just had a two hour talk with holly, and to be celebrating christmas. christmas often makes me somewhat melancholy, because i just don't feel good enough or i don't feel like i'm doing exactly what heavenly father wants me to be doing. this year, i'm really just purely happy. i am a daughter of a heavenly father who has blessed me beyond comprehension. i have the most wonderful family and friends who i am so grateful for. i wouldn't change a thing about my life right now. i love christmas, and i am so happy to be truly celebrating it in every sense of the word.

everything

i haven't blogged in forever. i haven't written in my journal in forever. i haven't emailed my grandma in forever. i'm a slacker, but it's not on purpose. it's only because there aren't words to say how happy i am. i sit down and nothing comes to my fingers because i'm too happy. i can't stop smiling, ever. i can't sleep at night. i want to skip through the halls at work. life is perfect and that's all i can say. i can't say it any other way.

that one time i went rock climbing

what's cool is how good i am at rock climbing.
uhhhh just kidding.
but really.

zach and scott brought me rock climbing.
we climbed this bad boy.



juuuuust kidding again.

this is what happened: i got my harness on. i put the rope through the thing. i started climbing. i got stuck. i didn't know where to go. i started freaking out. so scott jumps on the wall and climbs up and moves my feet where they need to be. i'm feeling good about things. i fall. i scream. zach and scott think i'm a girl. i am a girl. scott's still just chillin' on the wall without a rope. the same wall where i just barely freaked out about falling to my death. guess i wasn't really up that high after all.

i don't think i'm meant to be a rock climber.
or a repeller. that's freaking terrifying.

i like rock climbing.

(also, for the record, costa vida is the love of my life on account of the fact that it is all gluten free. yyyyuuuummmmmmmmmyyy.)

here's to happiness

ten things that make me terribly happy

( here )

10. that aubrey is home. :)

9. crepe bars at wedding receptions.

8. meeting lauren at said wedding reception.

7. getting a 91% on my isys test. (apparently i am incapable of getting anything except a 91 or 92 on any test this semester. weird.)

6. the new iphone operating system.

5. that my parents will be here in a month.

4. m.a.c. false lashes mascara

3. sushi.

2. costa vida, jersey shore, and soccer games.

1. heels and pencil skirts.

perfect.

lately i've been thinking a lot about being happy regardless of life.

most parts of my life are great right now. i love my job, i love byu, i love my classes, i love my friends, i love general conference, i love that my sisters live close, i love that my studying is paying off, i love that fall is coming.

some things are just not wonderful though. i super don't like my apartment, i hate the heat being turned on every. freaking. day. when it's 85 degrees outside, i'm tired of stomachaches, i dislike that my best girl friends living three hours away, and i'm sick of complicated life situations.

and yet, despite all the things that i would change if it were up to me, i've been happy these past few weeks. i've been really, really happy. because it's not about tomorrow. it's not about what life would be like if i still lived at king henry, or if i hadn't broken up with my boyfriend, or if i had instantly bonded with my ward and had roommates that i adore. it's just about today, and today i get to be happy.

it's like president uchtdorf said last week:

"don’t close your eyes and hearts to the simple and elegant beauties of each day’s ordinary moments that make up a rich, well-lived life."

and also, someday i'll stop being lame and start taking pictures.

i just don't feel like putting pictures up

there are some things in my life that i'm really diggin right now. like, really, really diggin. (these things do not include: the rose thorn that sliced my right palm open two days ago and still hurts, the customer service system at wall street journal, the gash i put in the side of my car trying to park on wednesday, or the mind-numbingly boring statistics professor bri and i listen to for three hours a week.)

first and foremost, having a sister who is a freshman is the best. thing. ever. no exaggeration. not only because she feeds me lunch sometimes at the cannon center, but also because, when i have an hour break between my normal classes and my four hour (FOUR HOUR!) art class on thursdays, i can pop right over to her dorms and take a quickie nap. beauty.

second, accounting class is full of some w.e.i.r.d.o.s. (no offense to dan or zach, both of whom are cool enough to prove that accounting can, in fact, be a respectable major.) we're assigned a new seat every day in class, which certainly mixes things up, allowing me to meet some fun people (jason, elise) and some strangies (coughMATSONcough). it keeps things exciting. mostly i just love watching those more ..interesting.. people (a) flirt with girls, and (b) make conversation. magic.

third, pumpkin bread. i feel strongly about pumpkin bread. strongly positive. and i made two loaves this week. so i'm feeling strongly positive about life. (also can we talk for a second about bbq chicken sandwiches? FAVORITE.)

fourth, sleep. sleep is a beautiful thing. even more beautiful as of today, when i was getting the mail at work and found a request for 18-55 year old pre-menopausal women to perform a simple sleep study and receive $100. pretty sure i fit the description. pretty sure i'd like $100. pretty sure that's going to be happening.

fifth, i am such a fan of being busy that i cannot even explain it. work eight to twelve, class til three, appointments, art class, kickboxing, or homework til evening, something fun til bedtime, sleep. begin again. love it. way more than i should.

sixth and last, the rain at this moment. rain in the loft sounds freaking incredible. it's raining really hard. and i can hear the cars splashing in the puddles. so even though it's messing with my plans to get free jdawgs tonight, i'm liking it.

thank you and good-bye.

this is going to be one of those posts that is nothing and everything all at once.

it's been an interesting week, a week with a lot of changes and a lot of emotions. i think i expected our new apartment to change my life, and although i really love it, i'm still just the same amy, with the same challenges and the same weaknesses. that's been embarrassingly surprising. i've been feeling like i'm being pulled a lot of different directions, and i've had a hard time not stretching myself too thin. it's led to a lot of frustration and anger and impatience and unhappiness.

brianna moved into her dorm this week, so mom spent the night at my apartment on wednesday. we talked for three hours and it was exactly what i needed. moms are the absolute greatest, and they only get better when they stop being just a mom and start also being a friend. i think my mother is most incredible woman and i am so grateful that she's mine.

last night before chelschels came over, i pulled out my paints and brushes and my new easel and i set to work to the soundtrack of my painting music. my painting music depends on why i'm painting, but last night's was perfect. poison's every rose has its thorns, elton john's your song, journey's don't stop believing, pixie's here comes your man. perfection. with my brushes in a mason jar and my phone turned off, i felt happy. i felt right.

and i painted this, which i really like.

i think painting is the most wonderful thing, and i'm really excited for this semester's art & drawing class. it's going to be a challenge, because drawing is not my strong point, tracing is. but i'm looking forward to the challenge.

i wish i had something profound to end this post with, but i don't. i'm just okay. :)

happiness.

i've been having a little bit of a rough week. i've been stressed (about moving out, finals, assignments), i haven't been feeling well (my tummy, as always), i've been grumpy (pms, other factors), and i've just plain been unhappy. sometimes i get like that. sometimes everybody gets like that.

the good thing, though, is that it always ends. growing up, everybody liked me because i was (generally speaking) the cheerful, happy one. (when i say everybody, i mean my family, mostly. because in elementary school, the other kids don't usually care if you're cheerful and happy, cause you're just a kid. plus i was a chunk.) then my teenage years happened, and i became a little bit difficult, and even though i'm not difficult anymore (at least i like to think i'm not), being happy doesn't come quite so easily.

i'm a happy person. i like being happy. but more and more, i find myself feeling frustrated at the other drivers on the road and pissed off when i wake up to loud music at seven in the morning and mad when people aren't doing exactly what i expected them to do and irritated when i'm put on hold.

to counteract that, to remember how to be happy, this week i've tried to slow down. when i walk outside, i stop and feel the sun on my face. i went up to rock canyon on tuesday just to think and calm down and thank my heavenly father for the blessings he has given me. i've tried to put a smile on my face, even when i'm not feeling it. and i've tried to focus on the things i love--journaling, crafts, painting, reading and marking up philosophy books, organizing.

so i'm happy again. last night aubrey and i went to color me mine. we're making cereal bowls, but we didn't quite finish so we get to go back tomorrow. it was perfect. after we went home, we made muddy buddies (which gave us tummy aches.. hooray) and watched 500 days of summer (for the second time in two weeks).

life in our new townhouse is going to be wonderful, eating out of our cereal bowls, next to our blue walls and painting-covered walls. with aubrey. i can't think of anything better.

odds & ends.

a) aubrey and i watched music and lyrics last night. i lovelovelove aubrey jean truman. she is the most hilarious, most fun, sweetest girl in the whole entire world and also she taught me about putting junior mints in the freezer which started me on a junior mint phase, frozen or not. YUM.

b) speaking of phases, i have eaten four tuna sandwiches in the last 36 hours. that translates into a tuna sandwich for dinner, a tuna sandwich for breakfast, a tuna sandwich for lunch, and a tuna sandwich for dinner. I LOVE TUNA SANDWICHES.

c) speaking of watching music and lyrics, i fell asleep during it. because it was two in the morning. so then i went to climb into my bed. where i proceeded to lay awake until 4:00 this morning. neat.

d) paige is my fuhhhhrrraaavvorite. our best days are the days when we take pictures of our lives. so awkward. so wonderful. like this gem, which my darling clementine captured at the tax place today. not really sure where she was. all i know is, the picture of her lap which she sent me was covered in tax papers.

no cell phones, no weapons. good to know.

e) my tummy hurts almost all the time. so i went to the doctor on monday. starting next tuesday, i'm supposed to start a gluten-free trial. i am crossing my fingers so hard that that isn't what's the matter with me.. pleasepleaseplease..

f) yesterday chels and i talked for the first time in three weeks. oh my gosh it was beautiful. i miss that girl every day of my life.

g) my favorite material possession in the entire world currently is my zebra striped blanket.

h) i'm guest posting over here today. on account of that paige's family just moved this week and she is now living at her ex-boyfriend's house and has no internet unless she uses her ex-boyfriend's computer to which she cannot find the charger.

clearly it's just better if she has a week of guest posts.

i) and most excitingly, my family is officially in utah!! this is what my weekend looks like: get off work, go home to pack, drive to salt lake, and then family reunionnnn. wooooo.

s.u.m.m.e.r.

with the end of the semester last week, it is now summer and life is good. i cannot believe it is already the middle of june. end of june, really. sometimes i wish life would pass so much more quickly, but right now i wish it would slow down. dramatically.

this weekend, vegaaaas with mis amigos. three hours until go time.

..back to real life..

..but i don't even really mind. this last weekend was picture perfect. this is what went down:

thursday chelsea and i reunited and rekindled our love for each other. we climbed some rocks (just kidding. we only attempted to. we sucked at it.),

ran through a bat cave,

went to her sister's continuation and made eyes at some quarterback,

had a barbeque, ate some of the best frozen yogurt i've ever had, and creeped on some sunburnt man on the other side of the window. clearly the day was perfection.

friday i went to will's house in superior. and it was the greatest. we played some baseball, jumped on the tramp,went hiking with his sisters and brother,

ate some of the best frozen yogurt i've ever had, had some yummy broccoli (and) beef, won at mini-golfing, watched the only good part of disturbia (aka the first ten minutes), had a lesson in (nebraska) football, and, of course, went on my first go-karting adventure of my whole life.

saturday i finally started reading a book for a civ paper that's due in, oh, six days. and then we went to denverrrr. it was fantastic. my gosh. it was in my top ten nights of my entire life. outdoor concert,

pizza,

cheesecake, chelsea, jordan, crazy coloradans.. what more could i ask for?!?! nothing, i tell you. nothing at all.

and then sunday was chill and perfect and involved teaching the youth about going to college, reading by the pool, and playing games.

well guess what? now it's tuesday and it's real life and i'm not even mad. it was the bomb-est weekend but already this week rocks, too. i skyped paige and ethan this morning while eating my frosted mini wheats, i don't even have a tummy ache today like i did, oh, all day yesterday, i found out i got an A- on my programming midterm, and there were yogurt granola bars electrical taped on my car when i woke up. plus, it's not even monday, so there's only four days til the weekend.

life's good.

i am having the absolute best weekend.

why hello. paige has been prettyyy mad at me lately for being a terrible blogger. sorry paigalicious. here's the thing though. life is good. super good. and here are three reasons why.

1. im in colorado right now with chels. i like this girl. a lot. also her little brother blake who says we are besties. but really mostly i love chelsea and every second i am here i am just so happy i could scream.

2. i played some mini golf yesterday. and rather than being labeled as a liability, i was called "slightly above average." hey, i'll take it.

3. chels brought me to the pet store where they had a (wait for it...) PUGGLE. this morning my mother said to me "you sound a little obsessed." well guess what? i am. and playing with that puggle was the most perfect 20 minutes of my life. i don't even like animals. but i want my baby benjamin so bad :-/

doesn't even matter

despite the fact that it's rainy for the eightieth day in a row and it's chilly and i have to walk to class in the chilly rain in only one hour and it's so cloudy and dark that the entire glass tanner building is dark and gloomy and as is becoming a habit i went to bed too late last night so i'm tired and i lost uno four times in a row last night which means i lost the bet and i have a truckload of homework to do tonight and tomorrow so i can go to colorado this weekend and i have class all day today and my hair is a mess partly because it's raining and partly because i didn't get my butt out of bed until eight this morning and i wore sandals today when i should have worn my new sperrys cause it's wet and i have a random gash in my finger but no bandaids and i haven't had any time at all to go running for a week and i don't like two of the four new pairs of shorts/jeans that i bought on saturday so i have to return them sometime this week and i am a little bit overwhelmed all the sudden by how much i have to do in the next 48 hours.... despite all that, i am h.a.p.p.y. today. and i'm just smiley. and it's a good feeling.

no time for cameras, we'll use our eyes instead

best. weekend. ever.

it all started with civ on friday, in which i forgot to study for a map quiz and still aced it, and forgot to print my paper but received full credit after emailing it to the TA, because my paper was so "well thought out" and "thought provoking." thank you. i wrote that in ten minutes after about ten hours of nonstop programming frustration.

then i made some incredible progress in my programming project that's due on monday. and then i went to malawi's pizza with david harrison smith. guess what? best pizza ever. and dave is legit cool. so it was fun.

after thaaat, i went to some friends's soccer game.. they lost.. but it was still cool. and then it was bonfire time!

love summer.

saturday i went to my uncle's wedding which meant lots of family which was the greatest. my grandma gave me an hour's worth of boy/life advice and made me show her facebook pictures of just about every person who i have ever known.

and then today, church was pretty good except i had the wiggles really bad and megan was incredibly distracting (ha just kidding. lav you.) and the bishop asked me to speak next sunday so that's going to be great. but then the boys came over for dinner and aubrey made carne asada and it was delishhhhh.

and my program is done (i thinkk. i hope. please don't let there be any more secret glitches..) and aubrey and i went for a walk and it was so, so beautiful, and now it's time for ward prayer and then a sunday drive and i'm sad the weekend is over (especially cause it's midterms this week.. already?!?!!) but guess what? only two more weeks until memorial day weekend which means a sweet roadtrip and then CHELSEA!!!!

i'm happy.

saturday is a special day..

i think that song is silly.

anyhow.

today was awesome times ten. it consisted of:

1. waking up at eight and hiking the y with aubrey (loooove that girl). there are a few things i would like to say about hiking the y. a) it was freaking steep. b) it was ten times bigger than i imagined it. and c) i liked it quite a lot.

2. h.o.m.e.w.o.r.k.

3. daydreaming about what might happen if i can hopefullypossiblymaybe apply to the isys program THIS JUNE instead of next june and be done with school in two years instead of three, sacrificing my life and sanity in the process.

4. grilling hamburgers with mckenzie and aubrey. i can see why grilling hamburgers is a boy's job. but still. we rocked it.

5. laying by the volleyball courts in the 85 degree sun for four hours with aubrey. these four hours consisted of a lot of talking, a lot of checking boys out, and a lot of apples and peanut butter. (and honey in the pb. who knew?!)

6. meeting some boys who felt like it would be a good idea to play the "five question game." which was so clearly a game created solely to find out whether or not girls have a boyfriend, and then to ask them out. clever of them? i'm going with a big fat no.

7. shoppingggg with cristina.

8. natasha's wedding reception with cristina and dan. i like them a lot. and i'm not even just saying that because cristina reads this. i just legit like them.

9. and then, of course, more aubrey. :)

i like summer. i know it's not summer yet, but when everyone's in swimsuits all day and it's 85 and the sun is out, it's hard not to just feel good about life.

on not having a boyfriend

one of my most vivid memories is from when i was eight years old. my mom had just tucked me in to bed, and i said, “mom, i can’t help that i’m so boy crazy!” and my mom said something that made me feel awkward, but i don’t remember what she said.

(my eight-year-old journal is a work of art. it contains a daily list of the top five boys i liked, short stories, chunks of my guinea pig's hair, and unscramble games. concerning? most likely.)

as much as i hate to admit it, i’m one of those girls that always has a boyfriend. in high school, there was never more than a month between boyfriends until my senior year. i dated michael almost my entire freshman year of college, and then had Things with three zac/h/ks in five weeks before dating the zack i was engaged to.

the truth is, it’s kind of strange that i always have a boyfriend, because i much prefer not having a boyfriend. the last four boyfriendless months have been some of the best months of my life. it’s nice having someone who always cares, who will always listen and who loves nothing more than holding me. but sometimes it’s even nicer to live my life without worrying how it fits into somebody else’s, to just be amy without trying to be michael’s amy or zack’s amy or brad’s amy.

other things i like about not having a boyfriend include: leaving my phone in my room for an extended period of time without worrying about the negative repercussions it will have on my relationship, not skyping until [insert some ghastly late hour here that would disappoint my mother], spending my money on the things i want to instead of paying for half the dates or gas to visit the bf for the weekend, shamelessly checking out the guy who studies in the same place i do before computer programming, having time to go running, making plans for my future and setting my own personal goals without worrying about whether or not i’m getting married before i graduate, flirting with the hawties sitting next to me in class, and having time to actually spend with my friends.

someday i’ll have a boyfriend again. but it won’t be until i’m good and ready, and it won’t be until i’m ready to let somebody be part of me again. in other words, it won’t be for a long, long time. and i'm happy about that.

okay it’s time to get back to my homework. (which i’m not even complaining about. fer real.)