my holiday rant

i would like to dedicate this to miss karly percifield.

thank you for your inspiration, karly.

it has come to my attention that only fifty percent of the holidays are really worth celebrating.

not saying i boycott the rest.

just saying i'm being reasonable.

let's start at the beginning.

valentine's day.

everybody knows valentine's day is ri-dic-u-lous.

i just don't understand how you can manufacture romantacism.

am i right or am i right?

saint patrick's day.

who even really knows what this is? i definitely do not.

and yet i always super dread that day in case i forgot to wear green.

weird, huh?

easter.

i like easter.

i like easter egg hunts, and that my mom still hides easter baskets for us.

i like decorating eggs.

i like easter music.

so easter's all right.

fourth of july.

i've always been kind of whatever about the fourth.

i love america.

i'm all for patriotism.

but i think it's kinda dumb in general.

i missed the fourth for like three years in a row.

and i didn't mind one tiny bit.

but this year i quite liked it.

i mean who's going to pass up barbeque and fireworks?

birthdays.

(this comes after the fourth in my list because my birthday comes after the fourth.)

birthdays are most often a buzzkill.

i'm not really a huge fan.

i mean i like when my mother makes me ribs.

and i like cake as much as the next kid.

but birthdays in general?

i'd rather skip it.

halloween.

there are three genres of halloweeners.

first, the people who are obsessed, plan their costumes for months, and liiiive for the day

second, the people who are kinda whatever, who just dress up because everyone else does.

third, the people who would rather the holiday didn't even exist.

i fall firmly into the third category.

i hate being scared. hate it. i'm serious.

i would so, so much rather just watch a chick flick.

maybe decorate halloween cookies. i mean that's fine.

also pumpkin cookies. that's fine too.

but that's it. that is where i put my foot down.

thanksgiving.

i know thanksgiving is all about being thankful, about families, about being together.

and i'm all for that. really, i am.

but how many people really spend meaningful time pondering how thankful they are at thanksgiving?

the moms are worried about cooking, and the dads are worried about football.

in the end, it's really little more than a celebration of the obesity of america.

christmas.

like most of the world, i love christmas.

we have our traditions.

watching the santa clause movies 800 times, the christmas tree game, figuring out our presents, making christmas food..

and i love every part of it.

except christmas day. i hate christmas day.

because it means it's all over.

and that's lame.

in conclusion.

holidays are pretty dumb.

i mean i know they're not going anywhere.

and that's fine. i pretend i like them.

but the truth is?

ehh.

i think they're silly.